If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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