The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
