Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
