Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
