I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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