spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
