Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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