Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
