you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
