What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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