i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
