you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she looked like the before picture.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
