Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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