I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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