your thong is hanging out like whoa
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
