so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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