His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
