You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
