Someone shit on the floor
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
