Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
