That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
this hospital has no fireball
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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