Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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