Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
