well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
