3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
