so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
