i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
