her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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