I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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