I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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