I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
