Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he puts the penis in happiness.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
