hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
