i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
