Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
