Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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