i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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