you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
