She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
