So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
