is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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