We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
