i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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