so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
