You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
