btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
