Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
