dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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