really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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