I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
