You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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